Fathers day thoughts

Fathers Day is just about on top of us and I never spend much time thinking about my Dad. When I was a little boy I would sit on the front porch and wait for his bus to drop him off at the corner and run down and walk home with him. At that time my Dad was my hero. I just thought he was the best guy in the world and could do no wrong. My Dad went out of his way to do things for me because times just sucked it was WWII and everything was hard to come by but my Dad made toys for me out of wood and I thought he was so cool. I grew up in the western suburbs of Chicago and at that time there were very few homes on the street that I lived on. Wild berries grew in the vacant lots by our house and my dad would take me berry picking with him and when we got done he made jam out of some and pies out of others. When I started school my life became hell on earth. They had me doing stuff that was so hard for me but the other kids got it right away. The teaches told my parents that I needed help at home and my Dad just screamed at me and told me how stupid I was and made me hate school all that much more. My mom did her best to help me to learn how to ready and write but I was no good at it at all. I was writing backwards and reading the same way. School was a struggle for me till I was in the 3rd grade and I had to do a lot of special testing to see what could be done with me. I was excited when I found out that I could learn I just had a disability. I told my Dad that I was taking special education and he called it dummy school. He said the biggest waste of time was to send a kid like me to school because I would never amount to anything much at all. School was never real easy for me but I did get better at it. By the time I got to high school I had lost all interest in education. I was just putting in my time hoping that the day would come that I could get out of school and put an end to my misery. It was April of my senior year of school and I made the choice to quit school and join the Army. I talked to the Army recruiter and he told me to talk it over with my parents. I told my Dad about my idea and he said that is about the smartest thing you ever said. Going to school is a waste of time for a kid like you. My mom was all upset but I told her that I was on the road to no were at the time and I had to do something. May 6th 1962 I joined the United States Army. Little did I know what I had in store for me at that time. Three years later I got out of the Army with the rank of SP 5 and my Dad was kind of shocked to see that I did so well. I told him I'm not the Dummy you think I am I can do what ever I want to do and I don't want to take any more crap out of you. I was 21 and that is how our relationship lasted for the next 17 years. I did a lot of things in those 17 years and most of them were not to smart. The smartest thing I did was have a long talk with my brother and found out a lot of things I never knew about my Dad. I had assumed my Dad grew up like me but that was not even close to being true. I had the greatest Mom in the world and she loved me and showed it all of the time. My Dad had a hard life Growing up in the early 1900's and was in the Navy for WWI Nothing about his life was easy every inch of the way was hard. His parents were hard on him also. Wes told me that my Grand Mother had to be one of the meanest people that he had ever met in his life. Once I got the drift how my Dad's life was I could understand why he was so bitter because that was the way he was raised and all he was doing was what he was shown. I knew I had a choice in life and I could be as nice or nasty as I wanted to be. I love my Daughter more than life it self and wanted nothing but the best that I could provide for her. I felt that I had short changed Holly on being a good Dad but she told me that was not that case at all. Holly told me I was a GREAT Dad and should be proud of all of the values that I taught her. To be fair loving and kind to your children. Spend time with them have fun and laugh and eat ice cream together. Nothing easy about being a parent and babies don't come with a manual on how to operate them. I'm sure at times my dad felt like I do that he failed but he didn't fail at all. My Dad did the best he could with what he had and it was not much at all. After I made my amends to my dad I told him I loved him every time I saw him. Ya my old man was my Hero after all, he made toys for me out of wood, how my people can say that?